True, I would far rather see exciting projects bursting to life everywhere I look than to be, say, catatonic or vegetative. Maybe I need to break off from Apartment Therapy and form a satellite sect. For people who get too many ideas to settle down and pursue group goals. (A square peg may not fit in a round hole, but it will function brilliantly if a square hole is made for it.)
Back in my prof-in-residence days, a colleague from the Art History Dept came into my office, leaned on my desk, and with a face turgid with grief and wet with tears, cried out: "I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong?" This individual was a bitch on wheels in her less emotional moments, so I assumed a look of neutral compassion and listened while she pounded on my desk and reiterated her cries for love. (N.B. not from me. Her love life had a leak.) It thrilled me that someone of her sophistication, urbanity and Phi Beta Kapa-ness could sob out that cliche---I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong?
I am thinking now that there are many who, like myself, tend to get into hyper-creative states; who feel failed when this happens because they fall by the wayside when part of goal-driven, group endeavors. And that they actually should be beloved and venerated for who they are and what they do. Devoted aides should follow them about, wiping up paint spills here, putting tools away there, and sweeping up broken glass, sawdust, and sharp metal fragments. It is right that these perps should be loved.
Now I want to insert a picture of my hydrophobic Cairn, Wolsey, trying to get his rubber cheeseburger out of our pond:
3 comments:
I'll join your group--the one for those who have too many ideas and take on too many projects. That'd be me. It isn't that evident this time around--on purpose. I decided to limit myself to clearing out the basement just because there isn't much I can do, nor is there much I want to do down there. The rest of the house--well, it's a demanding, spoiled child and it will always take more from me than I can give it.
The group can do either of two things: cheer you on, or reign you in. The second doesn't happen too often, as a matter of fact. There are very few who feel they know you well enough to say, whoa, you are getting in over your head! Pull back.
No, people are inspired and enervated by your productivity and creativity. They want you to continue so that they can live vicariously through you. And that's OK, too. I find it motivating to be inspiring, even when it kills me.
If, on the other hand, you're just experiencing the "great overwhelm" then, know that this is natural, it is to be expected and you will get through it. Determine what you MUST ccomplish in order for you to count this season of curing a "success"--and finish that. Nothing you have done is wasted time. But perhaps the investment now must shift from the joy and anticipation of the beginning, to the quiet, contemplative and reflective ending. We're 1/2 way. It's time.
Love this post.
Maybe what you need to accomplish is what you're accomplishing.
(OK, so, how am I supposed to do this with my own blog? Just answer comments by entering another one, right?)
Alana, I love this to bits: "I find it motivating to be inspiring, even when it kills me." You nailed an Elusive here for sure, especially when coupled with the idea of others being inspired by the primordial snarl of activities generated by the likes of moi! And thank you for the comforting reasonableness of your thoughts. I wish I could say it's accessible to me!
Ah, yes, drwende. This shimmering opal is sending me straight out to my hay-bale meditation hut, where I hope to let it realign me!
You guys rock---thank you both!
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